Thursday, December 29, 2005

The DDs

On Dec 19, 2005, at 1:38 PM, I wrote to my old, old friend, PC Rooks: "Thought you'd like to know: over the past, about, 16 hours I've probably dropped as many pounds from seemingly unending hot, wet, dripping, incendiary, flow-siferous bowel charges! Splitter-splatter! Thought YOU'D love to know. It was a Couch Trip Marathon!"

PC -- and apparently, I, myself -- are a little fascinated with/cracked up by bowel movement issues. PC loves this old story that our mutual friend (Tims) told PC the morning after it happened. Tims and I were driving to the movie theater to see The Couch Trip with Dan Aykroyd, Charles Grodin and Walter Matthau. Half way there, I start sweating, getting feverish. Things are moving wildly inside my body.

U-Turn.

Tims is like, "uh, what?"

I'm like, "can't do it... gotta... get... back... home... use... toilet..."

Tims is like, "can't you use the one at the theater?" I could not. My fear/hatred of public restrooms has definitely softened since high school, but it is still not my fav place, and certainly not in the case of a serious sit-down waste disposal scenario. Anyway, I could also tell this was serious business, and there would be no comfort watching The Couch Trip. It was going to be, let's say, recurring. So we made it home just in time. Tims played Nintendo for a half an hour or so while I had a serious session in my own personal bathroom at my parents' house.

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