Wingstoppage

Okay, so there's this "restaurant," if that's what you'd call it, known as Wingstop. They apparently serve something called "wings." These are, the way I understand it, chicken wings, which are, as we all know, the best part of the poultry giant.

Anyway, there's yet another TV ad on for Wingstop and it mentions it's 9 flavors of wings. As you know I love "flavors," and I thought I would just come up with what I would consider the "9 Best/Most Fun Flavors of Wings" for Wingstop to offer:

First, and I think most obviously, is "Chicken Flavor."

Second, I suggest "Cinnamon Wings," because who doesn't like cinnamon?

Third, "Fish Wings" -- fish flavored chicken wings -- can't go wrong.

Number four: "Wings of Desire" -- wings flavored with just a hint of Chanel No. 5.

Speaking of five... number five: "KFC Wings" -- wings to remind you of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Six: "Sour Patch Wings." Tart chicken.

Seven: "Freedom Wings" are dyed in red, white and blue! If you don't love these, then you don't love America!

Eight: "Feathers-On Wings" are wings that the feathers were not even plucked from before cooking. These wings are supposed to show the excitement of all wingers (wing eaters), with that I-can't-wait attitude!

Ninth, surely to put some people off (but not all), "Blood, Sweat, and Tears Wings" -- flavored with the obvious.

And a bonus, seasonal wing special, only to be available in the month of December: "Eggnog Flavored Wings."

Men + Care = ?

Dear ESPN,

I like Magic Johnson -- and I actually even use Dove soap -- but is this not just a bit too much?